Jeg sendte en søknad om lån til DnB

Erik Ribsskog <eribsskog@gmail.com>

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Oppdatering/Fwd: Søknad om lån/Fwd: Your CV Critique

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Erik Ribsskog <eribsskog@gmail.com>	Wed, Apr 28, 2010 at 11:55 AM
To: 04800@dnbnor.no
Hei, kan dere ikke sende det her til direktøren, forresten. Det er noe sånn direktør-greier det her, skjønner dere. Mvh. Erik Ribsskog ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Erik Ribsskog <eribsskog@gmail.com> Date: 2010/4/28 Subject: Re: Søknad om lån/Fwd: Your CV Critique To: "dnbnor.no" <04800@dnbnor.no> Hei, dette var dårlige greier. Det minste dere kan gjøre er å skrive en 'forklarings' og en oppdatering. Prøv igjen! Mvh. Erik Ribsskog 2010/4/28 dnbnor.no <04800@dnbnor.no> Vi må beklage, men kan dessverre ikke innvilge noe lån til deg. Med vennlig hilsen Odd Engelien DnB NOR Bank ASA Tlf: 04800 | Åpent alle dager 08:00-22:00 Fra Erik Ribsskog [eribsskog@gmail.com] Sendt 28. april 2010 11:47 Til 04800@dnbnor.no; Emne Søknad om lån/Fwd: Your CV Critique Hei, da jeg ble butikksjef i Rimi, i 1998, så hadde jeg et møte med en dame hos dere, på DnB Ensjø. For Rimi hadde en avtale om billån, med DnB. (Som det hang oppslag om, på kontoret på Rimi Bjørndal, mener jeg). Så fikk jeg billån og Mastercard, (enda jeg vel bare spurte om billån). Så overhørte jeg i Oslo, i 2003, at jeg var forfulgt av noe 'mafian'. Så dro jeg til England. HiO og Lånekassa, tulla med meg, og studielånet mitt var fire måneder forsinket. Så jeg måtte overtrekke kontoen min hos dere, for å ha til mat. Så fikk jeg studielånet, i 2005, og betalte pengene tilbake, til DNB. Så havnet jeg hos onkelen min i Larvik, for jeg mistet fokuset på studiene, grunnet tullet fra Lånekassa og HiO. Jeg jobbet på gården som han drev. Der ble jeg forsøkt drept, i 2005, så jeg flykta til England igjen. Og jeg trodde det kunne være den albanske mafiaen, eller noe, så jeg leide en bil i Hirtshals, for jeg så noen albanere i en åpen sportsbil der, som speida etter noen, så jeg tenkte at leiebil var bedre enn tog. Men jeg ble også gjennkjent i Lille, på en bensinstasjon, av en amerikansk kar, jeg så i Amsterdam, da jeg fikk valget mellom reise til Amsterdam og Paris, av British Airways, Heathrow, i 2005. Da jeg dro fra Sunderland til London, men noe krøll skjedde der, uten at jeg gjorde noe galt. Jeg må være jaktet på av sionistene/illumianti/amerikanerne/CIA for å være for norsk, tenker jeg nå. Og da er kanskje ikke dere riktig bank, som skriver DNB, med liten 'n', som DnB. Dere er vel kanskje ikke så norske da? Skitt au, jeg prøver å skrive likevel, så får vi se hva som skjer. Mer da. Jo, nå er jeg på the Ladders, (og andre lignende steder), og de sier at jeg har erfaring, (jobbet som butikksjef), og utdannelse, (grad i IT), som gjør meg egnet til å få en toppjobb. (Og de har bare jobber med over 500.000 i årslønn). Og jeg utdannet meg jo, etter å ha sluttet som butikksjef i Rimi, og fikk mer lån av dere, for å spe på studielånet, siden jeg ble litt ertet, syntes jeg på HiO IU i Cort Adelers gate vel. Og filialen var vel også DnB Aker Brygge/Cort Adelers gate(?) Og jeg er faktisk nærmeste etterkommer etter Cort Adeler, har jeg funnet ut nå, eller en av de nærmeste, siden min mormor arvet Holger baron Adeler. Så jeg er mer eller mindre baron og på the Ladders nå. (Hvis dere har hørt om the Ladders). Jeg har også arvet en god del av et hus i Holmsbu, som har veldig fin beliggenhet, ved Drammensfjorden, med utsikt til mitt gamle hjemsted Berger. Etter en grandonkel, og faren min lot meg og søstra mi få hans del. Jeg har også arvet min mormor, Ingerborg Ribsskog, men ikke fått noe penger enda. Så de 100.000, eller hva det er, som jeg skylder dere, det er bare barnemat for meg, som er i posisjon til å få meg en direktør-karriære her i England nå, (også ifølge hva the Ladders synes, se e-posten som er videresendt med denne e-posten). Så jeg lurte på om jeg kunne få låne penger av dere, til å få en professjonelt skrevet CV. For da kan jeg lettere få en toppjobb. Jeg har også mange verdifulle ting, hos City Self Storage, i Oslo, som jeg skulle lånt noen penger, for å kjøre å hente. Blant annet et sølvkrus, som jeg fikk av min mormor, på min 34-års dag, som var en gave fra danskekongen, til min tipptippoldefar, L.C. Nyholm, som var hofjægermester, (ansvarlig for den kongelige jakt), i Danmark. For han hadde en del skoger og sånn da, og to-tre slott/herregårder, på Jylland. Men men. En annen slektning av meg, Anders Christensen Gjedde, var visst bondesønn, og hadde en tønne gull i kjelderen, ifølge en dansk slektning av meg. Men tønna har kanskje dere sionister, (hvis dere er det), gitt han, så kanskje jeg burde fått låne litt og? Hvem vet. Jeg hadde også konto i Sparebanken NOR, sånn som jeg husker det, fra da jeg jobba på Matland/OBS Triaden, og bodde på Furuset/Høybråten, hvor de hadde en filial, som ble lagt ned, så jeg måtte dra til Tveita, var det vel, for å ta ut penger. Før jeg bytta til Kredittkassen, av praktiske hensyn vel. Men hvor mange kontoer har jeg hos dere nå, lurer jeg? NITO-kortet fikk jeg ikke, på tross av medlemskap i NITO, har dere noe med dette å gjøre? Dere skal ha blitt kontaktet av sosionom i Sandefjord, om min øknomiske situasjon, i 2005, (om problemene jeg hadde med økonomi osv., da jeg gikk på University of Sunderland). Så dere vet vel det, regner jeg med, at jeg har en avtale med Larvik kommune, nå, om at jeg skal få gjeldsrådgiver hos de, når jeg får meg en fast jobb. Så jeg har ikke glemt gjelden til dere her, og jeg vet jeg har overtrukket, men det synes jeg ikke man kan forvente noe annet, av en person som ikke har penger til mat, og som har et VISA-kort, da må kan man ikke forvente at den personen ikke skal overtrekke, når dette er mulig i minibanker, og gå å sulte. Men jeg har altså kontroll, siden jeg har det som trengs av erfaring og utdannelse, til å få meg en bra betalt toppjobb. Så jeg lurte på om dere kunne hjelpe meg, med de få midlene som trengs, å låne meg disse, sånn at jeg får en bra CV, og få kontroll på tingene mine i Norge, og får meg noen dresser og sånn, sånn at jeg ser ordentlig ut, når jeg skal jobbe innen høyere ledelse og som direktør osv., på tross av denne mafian, som driver å forfølger meg, (hvem nå de egentlig er og jobber for). På forhånd takk for svar! Mvh. Erik Ribsskog ---------- Forwarded message ---------- From: Erik Ribsskog <eribsskog@gmail.com> Date: Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 9:48 AM Subject: Re: Your CV Critique To: David Emmerson <DEmmerson@theladders.com> Hi, ok, I will do that. Thank you very much for you help! Best regards, Erik Ribsskog On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 9:23 AM, David Emmerson <DEmmerson@theladders.com> wrote: Hi Erik, Thanks again for your message. Of course, our premium re-write service will always be available to you should you decide to go ahead with it at a later date. We do have example CVs, and I have attached one to this message – we don’t automatically provide them because it is never a good idea to create your CV around a template. Our writers never work from templates but create each and every CV from scratch. However, it does illustrate several of the points I raised in my critique and I hope it helps. Please let me now if you have any further questions. Kind regards, David From: Erik Ribsskog [mailto:eribsskog@gmail.com] Sent: 23 April 2010 17:52 To: David Emmerson Subject: Re: Your CV Critique Hi, that's very fine. Maybe I can get a loan in the bank, or something, we'll see, then I'll most probably contact you back. If not sure if you want any feedback, regarding this, but if you do, then I think it could have been fine, to link to eg. link to examples of CV's which are done right. Just a thought, in case you want any feedback. Regards, Erik Ribsskog On Fri, Apr 23, 2010 at 3:17 PM, David Emmerson <DEmmerson@theladders.com> wrote: Hi Erik, Thanks very much for your response. I readily appreciate that £299 can seem a lot when unemployed. I’m glad to hear you are set on improving the CV yourself, since it really doesn’t do you justice in its current state. As I said, the CV is too long, and full of autobiographical information that will be of little account to recruiters since it doesn’t tell them how your experience and skills will deliver the results they need. It is important to keep in mind the benefits of working with one of our professional writers. At any level, it can be difficult to write effectively about yourself, and this is especially true when writing a senior-to-executive level CV, which has to perfectly convey the depth of your experience and also compete against many other top-tier candidates. With our premium service, rather than improving a document yourself that you hope will prove good enough to get you an interview, you will be working with a specially-selected writer who creates £50k+ CVs for a living and has been doing so for over ten years. We can deliver you an outstanding top-tier CV that does full justice to your career and skills. We have a proven success rate. 77% of members who have their CVs rewritten by our writers report immediate contact from recruiters. In this respect, the service is an investment that can very quickly pay for itself. However, I fully appreciate your immediate your concerns over the immediate outlay. Ultimately, the decision rests with you, and I completely respect whatever you choose to be best for you and your CV at this time. Please feel free to contact me on: 0207 148 7154, or at: Demmerson@theladders.com with any further questions or concerns that you may have. With kind regards, David From: Erik Ribsskog [mailto:eribsskog@gmail.com] Sent: 22 April 2010 23:57 To: David Emmerson Subject: Re: Your CV Critique Hi, I'm unemployed at the moment, unfortunately, so I can't afford to pay as much as £299, for a CV now, unfortunately. But I'll try to rewrite my CV myself, and then if I get more founds, I can get back to you later, to get help with my CV, if that's alright. Thank you very much for good feedback! Yours sincerely, Erik Ribsskog On Thu, Apr 22, 2010 at 4:28 PM, <cvservicesteam@theladders.co.uk> wrote: Professional CV Critique Prepared specifically for Erik Ribsskog Dear Erik, My name is David Emmerson and I thank you for selecting TheLadders for your CV review. I have reviewed your document and prepared some comments that I hope will give you some insight. Keep in mind I am reviewing your document as it relates to the needs and demands of the executive employment market. We stay in tune with what recruiters and hiring managers want and need in a CV and our experience in working with executives is unmatched. Before I begin the critique, I do need to warn you about my style since my comments can seem rather direct, though I mean no offence. The reality is that the job market is very competitive now - particularly within the current economic climate - so I find it beneficial to be upfront rather than subtle or agreeable. Please go through the critique carefully. You will see at the end that I recommend our premium CV rewrite for you, which can be purchased using this link (details follow after the critique): https://www.theladders.co.uk/order-confirmation?billId=20609&sign=y&et_id=84201004&sign=y Let's get started! It will help to have a copy of your CV nearby for reference as I make comments. SUMMARY/INTRODUCTION Let's start right at the top. First, don't open your CV with tags like ‘Personal Profile.' Every recruiter worth his or her salt will know it's your profile statement when they read it. Instead, begin your CV with a career title/tagline to announce yourself and provide a clear focus for your readers. It will present you in a much stronger light. Your introductory section is too long - containing far too much information than is necessary to establish a connection with your reader. It gives the impression you are trying to cover all the possible bases, making the document hard to read and digest quickly. This is perhaps the most important section - employers will often make their decision on whether or not to proceed with the CV while reading this section. So you must do better! An effective summary is focused on prospective employer's needs and outlines how your past can benefit their future. It is supposed to provide a quick overview and needs to be streamlined to make the most important facts about you stand out right away. Additionally, I recommend pulling some of your higher skills out into a separate Core Competencies subsection underneath the summary. This is a great strategy. It serves as a keyword-rich area that enables your CV to be quickly found on the internet, while showcasing your unique strengths to the reader. Therefore, carefully compile a succinct list of industry-specific individual excellences, and add it to your CV. CONTENT As I digest your CV, not much is jumping out to announce it is the CV of a high-calibre professional. It is not highlighting your experience level or skill-set as well as it could. I can see you clearly have the impressive experience and credentials, but you must display all you have to offer in a clearer and more accommodating way for your reader. This will become clearer as we continue. From the way your work history is worded, you seem to be more of a ‘doer' than an ‘achiever'. Too many of your job descriptions are task-based and not result-based, meaning they describe what you did, not what you achieved. To be effective and create excitement, it needs to be results-based: What was achieved as a result of what you did? Employers are looking for quantified results. They want to know you have solved problems similar to theirs and that you achieved the results for which they are looking. Look at these: - I have a Norwegian blog, http://www.johncons-mirror.blogspot.com, that I've been working on, since I started with it, on my spare-time, in the summer of 2007. - Working as a freelancer, doing research on Scandinavian companies in the packaging-industry for a database, www.packagingdatabase.com, on behalf of Packaging Europe, Norwich - Chinese Food Delivery in Oslo West and Bærum, part-time What you have here is just job description, and this is going to be very similar to the CV content of many other qualified candidates. Be proud of your accomplishments and allow them to shine through your job descriptions. Another problem is that your work history is not presented properly. The paragraph format or ‘chunks of text' almost assure the reader won't read it. Where are your bullet-points? These will allow the most important accomplishments to be highlighted. Remember, a CV is read differently - the summary is read and then the rest of the document is scanned quickly with job titles, bullet statements, and other highlighted material being read first. Total reading time is about 45 seconds. If a CV can't be read that quickly, it won't be read. You have also taken your work history too far back in time by going all the way back to 1979. Employers are generally interested only in the past 10-15 years experience because it is what is most relevant to the challenges they face today. If you are concerned about showing depth, there are ways a professional writer would truncate your older experience while still showing you have good background upon which to draw. Further, while a traditional technique, having your referees on the CV is falling from favour. Privacy and identity theft have become significant issues and it is always best to protect the details of your referees. Employers don't need this information at so early in the recruitment process and you are putting private information into circulation that should not be in the public realm without caution. Provide these upon request by the employer. MECHANICS Moving on, the language of your CV could use extra attention. At the moment, it does not position you as a leader in your area of expertise. The words and adjectives you use are too low-level in tone to successfully promote your abilities and place you above the competition. Firstly, I am sorry to say that I did detect some typing errors in your CV, such as: ‘90's' - it is incorrect to have an apostrophe here. There are also numerous syntax errors where you have used commas incorrectly. In most cases, a recruiter will automatically discount any CV that is less than flawless, particularly at executive level. Attention to detail is paramount, and there really is no room for mistakes. There is a lower level tone echoing throughout the CV because your writing switches between active voice and passive voice throughout the document. To be effective, a CV should be written in active voice. Indicators of the passive voice are ‘responsibilities included,' ‘responsible for,' ‘duties included,' ‘served as' or noun phrases tied with prepositions such as ‘quality member of' or ‘representative of.' The active voice is more natural, direct, vigorous and emphatic - traits you want your CV to have in tone. The use of passive voice weakens your CV. An example of this in your CV is: ‘I was also responsible for the job of packing the bags of screws' Next, I must point out that professional CVs are written in a technique called ‘tight writing', or verb phrases, where the subject is generally understood rather than voiced. Articles (the, a, an) are minimally used in tight writing and only the core message is voiced. You have used these articles and some long phrases to describe your roles and achievements, and sadly you are disguising the very information an employer needs to see! You have to reduce the "clutter" of extra words so that your many credentials can be seen more clearly. This is just not doing you any justice, and it makes your CV appear amateur. Additionally, you use personal pronouns ("I," "me," "my," etc.) which is awkward and incorrect syntax. Remember that communication is the number one skill that has the most impact on your promotion, retention and performance. However, there is much more to a great CV than just cataloguing your career history and getting pretty words down on paper. Great communication is knowing what the reader is seeking, knowing how to get your message across succinctly, and knowing how to create clarity in your message. If you are not communicating well in your CV, recruiters will assume you are not a good communicator in person. DESIGN I think the design of your CV could benefit a lot from a calculated modification. I mentioned the over-usage of chunks of text earlier which is both textually and structurally problematic. Within your work history, keep in mind that the ideal job description 1) gives a line of job title and company description; 2) briefly summarises your duties in paragraph format; and then 3) uses bullet-points for your accomplishments and results, so as to maximise their impact. Make sure that the bullets are reserved for the most important, results-based information only. Your CV is simply too long to be effective. It's as though you couldn't decide what to include, so you included everything. As a result, your CV runs at an inappropriate six pages. With the use of proper design elements and formatting you can make a succinct and commanding two-page CV. You have some difficult decisions and careful consideration ahead, but you must remember that a two (or at very most three) page CV is the only kind that will be considered. On another note, the Times New Roman font you are using is not the most desirable. When hiring managers are reading through dozens of CVs, they will spend more time on one that has an ‘easy-to-read' font. We are constantly polling companies for feedback on what they want in a CV and believe it or not the font you use is a big deal! The preference of most employers is a Sans Serif font such as 'Arial' in size 10. Your CV overall lacks the polish and appearance of an executive CV. Using a run-of-the-mill design in your CV hurts your candidacy; you end up fading into the pile of hundreds of others instead of standing out. I highly recommend a more professional look-and-feel to the document to provide a more executive impression. So much can be done with the formatting and design to improve first visual impressions while still maintaining a conservative appearance. OVERALL IMPRESSIONS/STRATEGY It is clear to me that you possess the quality of skills, experience and qualifications that are required for a job of an executive calibre. However, your CV does not do you justice in reflecting this - it is too long, containing too much unnecessary information and not enough important info about he roles you have had. It is important to consider today's economic climate. Coming out of a recession, job searches are at an all-time high with hundreds of qualified applicants per vacancy. With job hunting so maddeningly competitive, you cannot allow your CV to be anything less than amazing. I recommend that you make use of a more executive CV, one that demonstrates your accomplishments and skills in a more strategic way. Give employers what they want to see, and set yourself apart from the hundreds of CVs against which you are competing. Remember that only the best CVs (not candidates) get attention, and eventually an interview. Of course, this does not mean that you are not a good candidate. Rather, the way that your CV presents your career is not yet very effective or exciting to the reader (who has typically read 100+ CVs before getting to yours). It may be some comfort to know that there are options available in this difficult time. TheLadders offers an outstanding Executive CV re-writing service, allowing you to relax in the knowledge that your CV will dynamically and professionally stand out from the crowd. We have a group of skilled writers who specialise in executive industry-specific CVs. They have extensive experience crafting CVs to best showcase the qualifications that employers consistently look for from top-tier candidates. Below, I have listed information that I feel will be of interest to you about our process, the ROI of working with our writers, and pricing. For any further information, please don't hesitate to e-mail me: DEmmerson@theladders.com GETTING THE INTERVIEW There are two things to consider here: 1. You are a premium member of TheLadders.co.uk because you've got the valuable experience, the superior skills, the unique qualifications and, most importantly, the drive to get to that next level. 2. On paper, your wording and presentation are not up to standard. Your CV does not generate enough excitement and professionalism for you to be considered a top candidate. These elements combine to make you a prime candidate for a CV re-write. We are here to make your job search easy and successful! To this end, it is crucial that your document looks as impressive as you do, and that you do not lose potential interviews in the process. Only the best CVS - not candidates - get the most attention and eventually an interview. You are clearly a very strong candidate but this is simply not enough to get the interview. Do not forget that at the application stage, the CV is the only representation of you that employers have. A lot of people, like you, struggle to put themselves down on paper effectively - but that's where we come in. We are experts at knowing the best way to present you. Most competing professionals employ the services of professional CV writers, leaving a disadvantage for those who make the attempt alone. It is similar to trying to take on a home improvement project: it is simply far too difficult and time-consuming to do on your own. OUR PROCEDURES (simple but highly effective) Our team is an elite group of skilled professionals. Each of them is a Certified Professional CV Writer (CPRW) with years of experience in effective executive CV/cover letter preparation, branding, and career marketing strategies. Each has CV expertise in at least one Ladder. We provide customised critiques and CVs based on your specific professional needs. Our CV-writing team has prepared more than 25,000 results-oriented executive CVs with an unparalleled level of success. Our service, credentials, and experience are unmatched in the industry. When you decide to take advantage of our CV writing service you can expect the following process: 1. You will be contacted by a CV writer from TheLadders CV Team within the next 10 business hours. The writer will send you a set of worksheets to fill out. These usually take 1-3 hours to fill out. 2. Once you have returned the worksheets, the writer will, if needed, schedule a phone call with you to ask for more information. 3. The writer will then produce a first draft within 5-7 business days, and you will communicate any changes required to the writer. 4. The writer and you will work together over the email and/or phone until a final draft of documents is produced. PRICING AND FREE COVER LETTER OFFER The investment to create your CV is £299. Remember, a CV that gets you a position is priceless. If it shortens your job search by one day, or results even in a 1% increase in compensation, it pays for itself. An ineffective CV can cost thousands of pounds in lost time, income, and opportunity. Limited-Time Bonus: If you purchase the CV within the next 7 days, we'll write the cover letter for free (worth £70)! This is a limited-time offer so you must click the link to purchase within the allotted 7 day timeframe. In order to purchase these services, you must first be signed in to your Ladders account. Click the link below and we will send you the materials to get started. https://www.theladders.co.uk/order-confirmation?billId=20609&sign=y&et_id=84201004&sign=y TRUST IN OUR CREDENTIALS You will be in excellent hands working directly with our team. This is your chance to work with the best executive CV writers in the world, some of whose credentials include: Certified Professional CV Writer (CPRW) Internationally Certified Job and Career Transition Coach (JCTC) More than 200 CVs/cover letters published in 20 career books VIP Contributor to High-Level CVs (Career Press) Master Career Counsellor Licensed Professional Counsellor Certified Personal Brand Strategist Certified Online Identity Strategist Masters of Business Administration Certified Six Sigma Black Belt I hope that my critique has given food for thought and helpful advice. Please contact me on: 0207 148 7154 with any questions or concerns you may have. Kind regards, David Emmerson Executive CV Analyst TheLadders.co.uk 134-138 Borough High St London SE1 1LB TheLadders.co.uk, Inc. | TheLadders.co.uk, Ltd. 134-138 Borough High Street, London SE1 1LB If you've forgotten your password, go to http://www.theladders.co.uk/ForgotPassword?et_id=84201004 You are receiving this email because you signed up for GMLadder on Wed Sep 09 08:24:27 EDT 2009 with IP address 81.152.91.205 from eribsskog@gmail.com. For technical support and general questions, visit: http://theladders-uk.custhelp.com</a></p><p style="margin-bottom:0;">If you have any difficulty clicking on the links above, copy and paste them into your browser. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * This email with attachments is solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed. Please also be aware that the DnB NOR Group cannot accept any payment orders or other legally binding correspondence with customers as a part of an email. 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