Session Start: ons. apr 21 12:05:15 2021
Session Ident: #quiz-show
[00:05.15] <cxp> death feels good
[00:05.21] <cxp> becoming nothing
[00:05.47] <skorpion> Okay, bro
[00:11.04] <cxp> try it
[00:11.07] <cxp> start dying
[00:13.22] <skorpion> You're such a classical depressed whiner
[00:13.46] <skorpion> You're in that phase where you're just deliberately exacerbating your own misery
[00:14.11] <skorpion> You're depressed. Deal with it.
[00:14.42] <skorpion> Try to face reality for once
[00:14.47] <skorpion> See how that makes you feel
[00:14.51] <cxp> you want to die every fucking die
[00:14.55] <cxp> day*
[00:15.00] <skorpion> Lol, no
[00:15.10] <skorpion> I deal with my depression
[00:15.20] <cxp> you don't even dare sleeping
[00:15.23] <cxp> like normal human beings
[00:15.29] <skorpion> I have sleeping issues
[00:15.33] <skorpion> Nothing to do with daring
[00:15.39] <cxp> applegroo: your problem is that you want to smash
[00:16.07] <skorpion> applegroo, his problem is that he craves
[00:16.13] <cxp> smash your skulll on a mountain
[00:16.15] <skorpion> Being depressed used to give him a good feeling
[00:16.18] <cxp> that is your secret wish, applegroo
[00:16.40] <skorpion> So now he is just chasing that feeling until the end of time
[00:17.03] <skorpion> Same thing with his trolling
[00:17.13] <skorpion> It used to give him a nice warm feeling to troll on IRC
[00:17.18] <skorpion> So he just kept doing it more and more
[00:17.23] <skorpion> More and more extreme trolling
[00:17.28] <skorpion> Then one day, it gave him nothing
[00:17.32] <skorpion> So he became sad
[00:18.13] <skorpion> He's a leecher of positive energy
[00:18.30] <skorpion> He's a fucking black hole
[00:19.39] <cxp> skorpion: your brain is severely damaged
[00:19.45] <cxp> from whatever the fuck drugs you took
[00:20.02] <cxp> you are a total loser on irc
[00:20.09] <skorpion> Your perception of me is so off
[00:20.16] <skorpion> You still haven't figured out that I'm a straight arrow
[00:20.39] <cxp> 3rd after loller (biggest loser) and john_cons (madhouse loser)
[00:21.20] <cxp> applegroo: you want to die , but didn't figure out yet how
[00:21.42] <cxp> you got a byke
[00:21.46] <cxp> take it to the limit
[00:21.48] <cxp> and smash
[00:22.14] <cxp> skorpion: you are a cockroach of irc
[00:22.27] <cxp> hiding in obscure places such as this corner of a madhouse
[00:22.39] <cxp> the #quiz-show shit
[00:22.49] <skorpion> I'm in #Norway
[00:23.07] <skorpion> Which now has more normalfags than ever before
[00:23.19] <skorpion> In its whole history on IRC
[00:23.47] <cxp> maybe your fate was sealed
[00:23.51] <cxp> from birth
[00:24.10] <cxp> you cannot overcome your limitations
[00:24.19] <cxp> you just rot jobless on nav
[00:24.42] <skorpion> If I could overcome them, they wouldn't be my limitations
[00:24.44] <skorpion> Idiot
[00:25.14] <cxp> you lack willpower
[00:25.17] <cxp> moron
[00:25.48] <skorpion> True
[00:26.13] <skorpion> But here's the thing, Chris
[00:26.19] <skorpion> Every time someone says something about you
[00:26.28] <skorpion> Something negative
[00:26.33] <skorpion> You immediately deflect
[00:26.42] <skorpion> And start talking about other people
[00:26.56] <skorpion> Look at yourself, faggot
[00:28.14] <skorpion> I'm starting to think that you maybe were severely beaten as a child
[00:28.27] <skorpion> This is how you became this extremely fragile and sensitive person
[00:28.46] <skorpion> Who is afraid of looking at himself
[00:29.50] <skorpion> This is perhaps also why you never want to answer questions about your family.
[00:29.56] <skorpion> You always dodge them.
[00:31.59] <cxp> true
[00:32.07] <cxp> why talk about private things
[00:32.17] <cxp> especially when they are ugly
[00:37.07] <skorpion> Lol. You're talking about death and killing yourself day and night
[00:37.30] <cxp> life is ugly
[00:37.31] <cxp> a nightmare
[00:37.43] <skorpion> Then share your ugliness
[00:37.47] <skorpion> Share your life story
[00:39.01] <cxp> you know it
[00:39.04] <cxp> a nightmare
[00:39.12] <skorpion> No, I don't
[00:39.19] <cxp> even the fact i was on irc for so long is part of the nightmare
[00:39.27] <skorpion> Not the specifics
[00:39.34] <cxp> happy people do not ever enter IRC
[00:39.38] <cxp> or even use internet
[00:39.46] <cxp> they are too busy enjoying life
[00:40.10] <cxp> irc is for fucked up failures about to go down in flames
[00:40.42] <skorpion> You want to revel in misery, but only in this vague, abstracted misery you have created for yourself
[00:40.49] <skorpion> You don't want to face the real misery
[00:40.58] <skorpion> You don't want to talk about the real facts
[00:42.36] <skorpion> You grew up in a Romanian orphanage or something?
[00:42.43] <skorpion> We used to hear alot about those
[00:43.04] <skorpion> In Norway
[00:44.23] <cxp> yes
[00:44.29] <cxp> they found me in garbage
[00:44.47] <skorpion> True?
[00:48.53] <cxp> whatever makes you happy
[00:48.59] <cxp> in your delusional assumptions
[00:49.04] <cxp> just like i am creative about gnom
[00:49.15] <cxp> imagining things since he refuses to share his life story
[00:49.39] <cxp> i live in his past
[00:49.40] <cxp> lol
[00:51.01] <skorpion> I am guessing, true
[00:51.05] <skorpion> You're making statements
[00:51.10] <skorpion> Big difference
[00:51.47] <skorpion> I'm ASKING you
[00:52.32] <skorpion> If you don't want to share anything, there is no point in listening to your pointless whining
[00:53.01] <skorpion> It means you probably don't have any good reasons for the whining
[00:53.12] <skorpion> So no need to feel sorry for you.
[00:54.22] <cxp> why should i whine
[00:55.58] <skorpion> Good question
[00:56.02] <skorpion> Ask yourself that question
[00:57.08] <cxp> yes
[00:57.09] <cxp> why
[00:57.11] <cxp> i dont like to whine
[01:00.35] <skorpion> LOL
[01:00.38] <skorpion> That's a big lol
[01:00.42] <skorpion> You love whining
[01:00.49] <skorpion> Like I told applegroo earlier
[01:00.56] <skorpion> You used to get a good feeling from whining
[01:01.19] <skorpion> But you've whined so much now it's not giving you anything anymore
[01:01.40] <skorpion> Hence your misery
[01:09.27] <cxp> nope
[01:09.34] <cxp> i whine, but not detailing
[01:09.38] <cxp> so it is not really whining
[01:09.45] <cxp> just a generic whining
[01:09.49] <cxp> about how life sucks
[01:10.39] <skorpion> Wow, such a stupid excuse
[01:15.23] <cxp> what excuse ?
[01:15.34] <cxp> if i write why i whine, it would mean i really whine
[01:15.47] <cxp> if i just write generic whining, it is moderate level
[01:15.52] <cxp> not desperation
[01:16.25] <skorpion> Moderate level?
[01:16.26] <skorpion> Lol
[01:16.42] <skorpion> Okay, bro
[01:16.50] <skorpion> Whatever you say
[01:16.59] <cxp> where do you see intense whining?
[01:17.09] <cxp> since i don't even talk about personal reasons for whining
[01:17.10] <cxp> moron
[02:05.47] <cxp> https://imgur.com/45VDTdN
[02:05.56] <cxp> see ? i make art too
[02:06.00] <cxp> i made that in Excel
[02:30.02] <skorpion> It looks like Romanian wallpaper from the 1970s
[02:30.09] <skorpion> Something like that
[02:41.30] <john_cons> cxp: my aunt Ellen did charity-work for romanian kids/retards, after the end of the cold war
[02:41.48] <john_cons> https://johncons-mirror.blogspot.com/2021/04/tante-ellen-hadde-et-slags-kall-som.html
[02:50.44] <skorpion> Yeah, many Norwegian do-gooders were into that
[02:51.27] <skorpion> I remember one of our neighbors used to collect old clothes and send them to Romania
[02:52.15] <skorpion> Who knows, maybe you've used my old underwear, Chris
[03:06.35] <john_cons> my aunt lived in switzerland and had a son (joakim) that was a retard/mongoloid, (joakim was one year older than me, they're both dead now)
[03:07.00] <john_cons> and my aunt wanted to help the retarded children in romania, because noone cared for them after the end of the cold war, she said
[03:45.48] <skorpion> Yes, they had many orphans
[03:45.59] <skorpion> Lots of kids with mental and physical disabilities
[03:46.13] <skorpion> Tragic situation
[03:50.31] <john_cons> ellen fikk en datter (rahel) med sin sveitsisk/italienske ektemann reto savoldelli, i 1978, (ni år etter at joakim ble født)
[03:50.44] <john_cons> for de mente at rahel liksom skulle være joakim sin medisin
[03:51.17] <john_cons> for da ville joakim (som var veldig tilbakestående, han lærte vel aldri å snakke), liksom herme etter rahel, og bli normal
[03:51.34] <john_cons> noe min farfar mente var uetisk, (husker jeg)
[03:52.06] <john_cons> å få en unge, kun for at den liksom skulle som medisin, for en annen unge
[03:52.07] <john_cons> noe sånt
[04:25.20] <cxp> i like how john_cons documents history
[04:25.38] <cxp> i dont know much about my aunts, etc
[04:25.58] <cxp> and i started to forget them
[04:26.09] <cxp> tidlig demena
[04:26.14] <cxp> demens*
[04:30.29] <john_cons> you chatted something about an orphanage, so perhaps you knew my aunt, (from her work with poor children in romania), i was thinking
[04:31.07] <john_cons> ellen ribsskog savoldelli
[04:31.10] <john_cons> her name was
[04:32.43] <john_cons> skorpion sometimes jokes in a way i don't understand (like with amanita in 2012), so it could have a been a joke i didn't get right away
[04:39.59] <john_cons> one of my grandmothers was danish-born and she always sent letters to everyone, informing them about what the other relatives where doing, so not much chance of forgetting an aunt etc
[04:43.16] <skorpion> Yes, chats with cxp always fluctuate between jokes and seriousness
[04:43.23] <skorpion> You just can't take the guy seriously after a while
[04:43.32] <skorpion> But the comment about orphanages was actually serious
[04:43.38] <skorpion> I was trying to dig into his past
[04:43.45] <skorpion> But he won't talk about it
[04:43.52] <skorpion> But anyway
[04:43.57] <skorpion> Good night, chatters!
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[16:09.20] <cxp> i failed in life
[16:09.28] <cxp> i should kill myself
[16:10.27] <skorpion> Yeah
[16:12.31] <cxp> yes
[16:12.49] <cxp> failure is a capital offense
[17:30.14] <cxp> i was born to fail
[18:03.37] <skorpion> Yep
[18:11.34] <skorpion> Indeed.
[18:22.01] <cxp> a true artist has to suffer
[18:22.24] <cxp> i want to drag skorpion out of his house and burn it down
[18:22.48] <cxp> so he suffers homelessness and poverty
[18:23.28] <cxp> his drawing skills will exponentially improve
[18:27.38] <skorpion> Lol
[18:27.39] <skorpion> Probably
[18:27.42] <skorpion> Like Hitler
[18:27.53] <skorpion> I shall achieve Hitler-level quality in my drawings
[18:42.16] * loller_ (5926e057@ircip1.mibbit.com) has joined channel #quiz-show
[19:27.16] <cxp> should I kill myself today ?
[19:27.37] <cxp> i am 10% of what i should and could have been
[19:27.55] <skorpion> Yes and yes.
[19:27.55] <cxp> i am nauseated when i realize my failure
[19:28.02] <skorpion> Naturally.
[19:28.20] <cxp> when i get moments of clarity, of self-awareness
[19:29.19] <cxp> the gigantic gap, the abyss between what is and whst should have been
[19:29.25] <cxp> what*
[19:29.43] <cxp> my failure is stunning
[19:29.46] <cxp> unreal
[19:30.04] <cxp> to waste my life so abjectly
[19:30.18] <cxp> i deserve a bullet to the head
[19:30.50] <cxp> irc is just some venting channel
[19:31.01] <cxp> some swan song
[19:31.25] <cxp> i am a pile of misery
[19:31.38] <cxp> and i live in misery and fear
[19:31.59] <cxp> a bullet would save me
[19:32.05] <cxp> an easy way out
[19:48.09] <skorpion> So why do you think you deserve it?
[19:48.45] <cxp> to end my misery, my fear, my mental torment
[19:49.15] <skorpion> I asked you why you deserved it, not what it should be used for
[19:52.05] <cxp> i deserve peace
[19:52.20] <skorpion> Why?
[19:53.55] <cxp> dont ask me
[19:53.59] <cxp> i am biased
[19:55.44] <skorpion> Okay, applegroo do you think he deserves it? loller?
[19:55.59] <skorpion> I don't think anyone think you deserve it
[19:58.25] <cxp> my misery will outlive everyone
[20:45.33] * skorpa (~realSkorp@172.51-175-153.customer.lyse.net) has joined channel #quiz-show
[20:46.12] <skorpa> https://youtu.be/5VVobKP3ato
[20:46.26] <skorpa> MY FRIEND OF MISERY
[20:46.30] <skorpa> Chris
[20:53.07] * skorpion (~realSkorp@172.51-175-153.customer.lyse.net) Quit (Read error: Operation timed out)
[21:40.58] <cxp> skorpa: you wanted to jump today
[21:42.03] <skorpa> No
[21:43.03] <cxp> from a fjord
[21:43.12] <cxp> a cliff
[21:43.22] <cxp> into the fjord
[21:43.40] <cxp> angst og depresjon
[21:43.46] <cxp> skizoaffektiv
[21:43.51] <cxp> paranoid
[21:44.01] <cxp> halusinasjoner
[21:44.36] <cxp> hjerneforstyrrelse
[21:44.48] <cxp> Erik
[21:45.03] <cxp> stemmene i hodet
[21:45.25] <cxp> psykotiske medisiner
[21:45.38] <cxp> full psykose
[21:46.00] <cxp> å vise universet
[21:46.14] <cxp> noen bestemte at jeg skulle DØ
[21:46.40] <cxp> å snakke med selv
[21:47.03] <cxp> telepatisk kontakt med folk på TV
[21:47.28] <cxp> telepatiske evner
[21:47.46] <cxp> å mumble samtalene med seg selv
[21:47.50] <cxp> uroen
[21:47.53] <cxp> kaoset
[21:48.12] <cxp> det må ta slutt
[21:48.30] <cxp> annerledes mamma
[21:48.40] <skorpa> https://youtu.be/TMbnZoFIiQU
[21:48.40] <cxp> Erik fikk fri
[21:48.47] <skorpa> I added a little bit of music to my drawing
[21:48.51] <skorpa> Tribute to you, Chris
[21:49.16] <cxp> foreldrene er psykisk syke i Norge
[21:49.21] <cxp> tusenvis
[21:49.40] <cxp> de trenger omsorg
[21:50.02] <cxp> pappas medisiner
[21:50.14] <cxp> for mye ansvar
[21:50.22] <cxp> de må roe ned
[21:50.46] <cxp> tvangsinnleggelse
[21:51.29] <cxp> dømmedags
[21:51.34] <cxp> domme?
[21:51.46] <cxp> med politi til sykehus
[21:52.12] <cxp> lettelse å ha mamma i sykehus
[21:52.20] <cxp> var du redd?
[21:52.31] <skorpa> Hva faen skjer
[21:52.34] <cxp> å gå til himmelen
[21:52.58] <cxp> indre urp
[21:53.01] <cxp> uro
[21:53.11] <cxp> jeg var lei meg
[21:53.36] <cxp> det tok knekka på meg
[21:53.39] <skorpa> cxp, did you see the video
[21:53.45] <cxp> det hindrer meg
[21:53.53] <cxp> er du bitter?
[21:53.57] <cxp> forbanna
[21:54.01] <cxp> mye sint
[21:54.11] * loller_ (5926e057@ircip1.mibbit.com) Quit (Quit: https://mibbit.com Online IRC Client)
[21:54.19] <cxp> følelsemessig
[21:54.25] <cxp> livsvarig sorg
[21:54.35] <cxp> jeg stoler ikke på folk
[21:54.56] <cxp> en prosess
[21:55.03] <cxp> jeg føler skyld
[21:55.27] <cxp> barna mine? aldri
[21:55.34] <cxp> å håndtere helvete
[21:55.45] <cxp> psykose
[21:56.02] <cxp> jeg trenger å bli passet på
[21:56.19] <cxp> i ferd å bli syk
[21:56.36] <cxp> det værste som kan skje
[21:56.43] <cxp> sterk medisinert
[21:57.08] <cxp> å holde sjelen i SJOKK
[21:57.23] <cxp> psykologi
[21:57.48] <cxp> i bakhodet? ingenting
[21:57.58] <cxp> psykotiske symptomer
[21:58.31] <cxp> det er farlig
[21:59.02] <cxp> resten av livet i psykose
[21:59.17] <cxp> å være ydmyk
[21:59.48] <cxp> krevende forhold
[22:00.02] <cxp> sinte foreldrer
[22:00.17] <cxp> sinte barn
[22:00.29] <cxp> jeg er ferdig
[22:01.54] <cxp> dumnezeii ma-tii
[22:17.33] <skorpa> applegroo, har du sett ham sånn som dette før?